We Have a Watermelon Date

Last night, Michael and I ran into two girls from the beginner class and took them with us to get some bootleg (kaçak) DVDs. The selection was, as always, pretty impressive and disappointing at the same time. They are obsessed with movies about American serial killers at that shop. Ten copies of "Ed Gain." Lots of Japanese horror movies, and one that must have been American, called "Midnight Meat Train." I assume that is a horror movie, but whatever genre, it doesn't sound like something I would watch. We got "Up," "Eastern Promises," "Night at the Museum 2," and "Brick," which is an incredibly good film noir piece set in a high school. We watched "Up" and did our homework. That movie is just as good the second time, and in 2D shot with a camcorder.

I was pretty upset about a variety of things last night. Those who know me know what is going on, so I won't go into it here. Suffice it to say, I couldn't fall asleep until around 5:00am. When I finally woke up, it was 9:10, and classes start at 9:00. If I hadn't been so stressed out, it would have been hilarious. I tried hopping into my jeans and buttoning them, but my left arm was totally asleep, so it was just flapping at my side while the other hand one side of the button on them. I had to swing my arm into position to hold them up. I had to take a cab to class, but it only cost me 3TL, or $2. Not bad, all things considered. I also didn't have to run the 1 mile to the building, and show up winded and covered in sweat. I apologized profusely and blamed jet lag, which I am sure played a part. 

Today was the first trip to the language lab, or laboratuvar. This is, of course, not to be confused with lavatory, or lavotuvar. Because that would be RIDICULOUS. We watched a ten minute video about ebru, the Turkic and East Asian art of paper marbling. Since the man in the video must have had a disease that made him sound like he was talking with a wet sock in his mouth, I assume the process involves suspending ink in oils or other surfactants like a detergent (if they had them back then) on the surface of some water, and then using a brush or something to move them around and mix them on the surface, and then apply a paper to it. Bam. Marbled paper. The guy was blathering on about other stuff, and pulled out a roll of toilet paper from his desk, as if to say "be prepared to shit at your desk." So pack accordingly before you go to ebru camp. The gripping conclusion will be viewed next week, when we get to see him either marble some paper, or actually shit at his desk. Here's hoping it's the former. 

In conversation class, our first one so far, we learned the word for snorkel after I showed the class my photo of the harpoon fisher/Thunderball. You want to know what it is? Şnorkel. Shnorkel. Uninspired. I guess the Language Institute couldn't Turkify that business back in the 20s, and just gave up. Interesting side note: the scuba diving shop district (yeah, that's right) of the city is right near Dolmabahçe Palace in the Tophane/Kabataş. 

Our conversation instructor actually has a background in psychology and psychological counseling, and is getting a PhD now in...I want to say linguistics. She was talking about "ilk izlenimler," or first impressions. Our first impressions are made in less than a hundredth of a second, and studies have found that people shown a photo of a face for that long will write the same things about the image regardless of how long they have to view it. Wild. That got me thinking about what people would write under mine. 

 

1. Steals televisions and unsecured bikes.

2. Plays a rare instrument badly.

3. Owns a kiln.

We hit up the cheapest cafeteria on campus, which is dark, dank, and 2.25TL, but serves eggplant all the time. They ran out of watermelon, but the manager/doorman said that tomorrow, even if it is the last piece, he will save it for us. He of course said this to one of the girls in the group, but I like to think we all have a watermelon date with him. 

Jet Lag, You Monster!

My jet lag hit me like a bus today. I was sitting in my grammar class feeling sick, thinking I had picked up some god-awful intestinal or brain parasite from my soup or lahmacun, or maybe from all the street walkers I have been fooling around with. But as it turns out, I was just tired! I actually dozed off in my reading class for a second. That has only happened twice before in my life: once in German in high school, and once in Political and Social Thought in college. I blame the parents, and the schools.

Classes were fine, the teachers are all really friendly. Psh, how typical. I have Sümrü Hanım again! She didn't really recognize me, though. But I will also have Mine Hanım later in the summer, and she definitely will. She's a natural redhead, too. We have built-in radar, and if you look closely, you'll notice that when two of us stand by each other, the temperature in the room drops slightly. Trust me. My only regret is that my classroom is on the other side of the building, meaning my view is of the second Boğaziçi Bridge to the north, and the Bosphorus up that way. If that is my only complaint, you can imagine how things are going. Son of a bitch! My view is fucking beautiful, but not as beautiful as it COULD be! 

I hustled home after class to nap for two hours, during which I had the most incredible dream I have had in months. Some film crew was filming in my dream house, and taking up all the space with their supplies and fat crew members. So I went on the warpath, disrupted their filming and screaming expletives at the actors. Then, later, Samuel L. Jackson arrived with a production assistant carrying a bunch of alligators. He told me that he'd kill me if I told anyone about the movie he was filming, ostensibly "Alligators on a Boat." Then I woke up. I am sure I could have retold it better, but you likely don't even give a shit in the first place, so I won't waste even more of your time than I already do. 

I did some pleasure reading last night. Non-fiction. Salt, by Mark Kurlansky. FACT: the phrase "red herring" comes from the practice common among New England's colonial hunters of placing salted red herring at various points along their path in order to throw wolves off their scent. I drop mad science on you like it's my job. Conversation hour today was fun. My TA is very nice, and also very pretty! Unfortunately, as always, she has what is sure to be a super handsome boyfriend with a Peugeot and a Fauxhawk. I just got back, actually. She showed me afterwards where I could buy a cheap alarm clock, and you know what I did? I bought one. I bought one for 8TL, and the girl who worked there even put a battery in it for me, FREE OF CHARGE. Talk about service! My only hope is that it wasn't made in China...of lead and arsenic. I guess I'll find out tomorrow when the alarm goes off, and a cloud of chlorine gas shoots into my face. Ha! I hope there's a snooze button! 

I might use Nick's TRX thingy and work out a bit and shower before going to dinner somewhere, or maybe I will just nap. I am in no way worried about gaining any weight here, for three reasons: 

1) The food is much healthier, and I drink about 2 liters of water a day;

2) I walk about 4 miles per day, or 80km. I do this at the speed of sound.

3) Hakan the Otopark Attendant constantly refers to my weight loss, and has so much charisma that if I do gain weight, he could tell it to leave me alone and it would. Then it would probably go hassle some American women.

But anyway, it's time to do some homework and listen to some Orhan Gencebay.